Dino bought me the best birthday present in the world. He got me Chuck Norris.
Seriously.
Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is my chicken. She is a Rhode Island Red Bantam chicken and she is very pretty. Let’s face it, that’s what we’re all looking for in a chicken.
Eggs?
Well yes, but really, a pretty chicken has a more lot to offer than just eggs – I’ll get back to you on what exactly that is at some point in the future - and she does lay eggs, they’re just on the small side. Like really small. So stay tuned for recipes using very small eggs.
Apparently, she’s very social, again a great quality in a chicken. I can take her to parties and she’ll fit right in, she probably has her own Facebook account. Maybe she tweets. And she likes a cuddle – again, good in theory once I get past two facts:
1. She is a chicken and really how cuddly are chickens? Given the choice would you cuddle a chicken or a puppy? Am I likely to let my chicken on the lounge to watch tv?
2. I am slightly terrified of chickens. When I was little I was told that a friend of my dad’s (who had a glass eye – freaky enough for you yet?) had his eye pecked out by a chicken. To this day, I don’t know if this is true but I can’t shake the feeling that there is something quite menacing about chickens…
Anyway, right now I expect you’re wondering about the name. She is after all a girl. The original plan was to name the chickens after Hollywood sirens. I thought it would be mildly amusing to have a coop full of Betty, Ava, Marilyn, etc but late one night Dino raised the idea of naming them after action heroes. We toyed with this for a while (debating who we would include in this category and immediately ruling out Jean Claude Van Damme) but it seemed slightly mean to name a bunch of girls after b-grade male actors. Would it be wrong to make a joke out of all of their names?
But the idea of naming one chicken after the greatest action hero of them all stuck. To put it in perspective. She is a bantam, so she is always going to be small. She is a red head. Are you getting the dramatic irony?
And when it comes down to it I really like the idea of yelling “Hey, Chuck Norris laid an egg!”. Need I say more?
And BTW - Chuck Norris did lay an egg.
The first egg.
Because nobody beats Chuck Norris.
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